


I Loved Her More

by Dianalynn1138



Category: Rose Tico - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, The Kitchen (2019)
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Rose Tico/Gabriel O'Malley, Rosiel - Freeform, Second Chances, Talk of War, talk of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:41:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23548585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dianalynn1138/pseuds/Dianalynn1138
Summary: Gabriel O'Malley, the fixer and cleaner for the Irish Mob in Hell's Kitchen finds he deserves to be happy again after the death of the love of his life, when he meets small town diner owner Rose Tico.
Relationships: Gabriel O'Malley/RoseTico
Comments: 16
Kudos: 19





	I Loved Her More

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of Gabriel finding happienss again came from a conversation i had with fellow GingerRose Discord friend @Huluppu and it stuck. Gabriel is my man and I love his tragic story. I hope you enjoy his happy ending!

_“I loved her more.”_

The words still rang in Gabriel O’Malley’s head days after speaking them to Kathy in the deli on 8th avenue. Ruby had called him that morning to let him know she was confronting Kathy after her husband’s funeral and the wash of pain Gabriel was still feeling overtook all sane reason; Kathy told the Italian’s that Collin wasn’t a threat, that he was a kid and would follow her lead. Kathy’s faith was misguided and now his Claire was gone. 

After the meeting in the deli, a meeting where he was ready to kill Kathy for taking the only thing that had ever mattered away from him, Gabriel packed up his 1973 Chevy and headed back out west. The first time he went west was after the hit his employers, Kathy, Ruby and even Claire’s husband’s, put out on O’Connor and Walsh, Gabriel went west to lay low. It wasn’t until he heard about Rob Walsh, Claire’s husband being sent to prison for four years that he came back. 

_“I only came back for her.”_

He didn’t know what he would do out there once he reached the other side of the country, but it didn’t matter; nothing mattered any more, Claire was gone, and Gabriel would never be whole again.

The scenery on I-80 was all the same once he hit the flat road of the center of the country, states like Iowa, Nebraska, and heading into Colorado had Gabriel’s mind drifting to his time in Vietnam and the lush grassy landscapes he fought in had a sense of mystery and beauty to them. He remembered times being on patrol walking through the high grass marshes dreaming about being back home in the Kitchen, but now he would give anything to see a boggy swamp, tall grass or even a mountain village, anything that would give him something else to look at. His time in the war wasn’t all bad, Gabriel had a chance to be away from Ney York, meet new people, and no one in his platoon knew what he did for a living back home. 

The O’Malley’s were known in the Kitchen for one thing and they were good at it. Gabriel was seven when he learned at the knee of his father how to dismember a human body, how to stab the lungs so the body won’t float to the top of the water bringing heat down on you and your people. He was thirteen when he learned how to shoot a gun, right where to aim so you didn’t waste bullets; if the person was running, aim for the leg, incapacitating him in order to take him where he needed to go to be talked to, or if he wasn’t of any use to anyone, two to the chest, one to the head. When Gabriel’s father died, he took over the family business until his number was called and off, he went to a country no one had even heard about until the communists moved in. 

As he drove, Gabriel thought about all the work he had done for the O’Carroll family over the years and how he only knew how to do one thing; killing was his bread and butter, what else was he good for? He did, however, have a contingency plan, one he had made when he told Claire he would give her the world if that’s what she wanted. Gabriel looked into his rear view mirror at a black knapsack laying in the back seat, inside a $100,000 in cash, all the money he had in the world, money he had collected as payments from the O’Carroll’s as well as some off the books work he had done here and there. Gabriel lived modestly not needing much and he was planning to take Claire out of the Kitchen once she told him she was in fact pregnant, whenever that would be. A baby, a home away from blood and violence, that’s that she deserved. She didn’t deserve to be killed by a fucking teenager in the dark in their apartment the night he told her he wanted to be with her forever. Forever never came. 

Gabriel was just about to cross the state line into Colorado when he looked at his fuel gage, he was almost on empty. As he changed lanes to head south on I-76, a sign reading Now Entering Julesburg, Colorado came into view along with a small gas station and diner situated behind it. As the sun was starting to get low in the sky Gabriel was being reminded loudly, he hadn’t eaten much since leaving that morning from Omaha. Gabriel pulled off the main road for a chance to fill up both tanks and maybe find a hidden place to park, a place he would able to crash in the back of his car before heading back out onto the open road.

After putting the Chevy into park and shoving the keys into his pocket, and after checking that the glove compartment with his gun was secure as well as tossing a blanket over the bag in the backseat, Gabriel walked into the Julesburg Truck Stop and Diner. The place was small, but bright, with windows wrapping around the building letting in the waning sunlight. Gabriel noticed the furnishings were well warn but clean and maintained and the aroma coming from the kitchen was heavenly. Being from New York, Gabriel knew diners, this greasy spoon seemed to be a quality spot to lay low for a night. 

“Order up!” A bell rang from the pass through window as the swinging door to the kitchen opened, a small woman, long dark hair piled on top of her head with a pencil tucked behind one ear rushed out with an empty tray almost as wide as she was tall and began to pile plates of food over it’s surface, how she balanced with that thing, Gabriel wasn’t sure. She turned around and looked up at him with a tired but genuine smile.

“Oh, hello there, sorry I didn’t hear you come in, take a seat anywhere and I’ll come check on you in a bit.”

Gabriel watched as she headed towards a table of large men in a corner booth. In New York men in a corner booth usually meant they were members of a Family, normally high up the food chain, the same people Gabriel would be called on to do the dirty work only he could do; no one found what Gabriel took care of. He watched as she moved with ease towards the group of men, passing out their burgers and fries while the men openly leered at her.

“Rose, when are you going to go out with me?” One of the roughneck men said making the woman in question, Rose he had called her, smile.

“What would your wife say, Tom?” Rose said without a beat placing the last of the plates down. “I’ll come check on you later.” Gabriel kept one eye on the men and one eye on the woman, ready for a quick exit. Maybe he should have brought his gun in after all. 

“Hey, you’re still standing there. Come on, let’s get you to a table.” Rose walked him over to one of the booths, handing him a menu with a smile. “You aren’t from around here, are you?”

Gabriel looked up into her face, at this height she was almost eye level with him, and he could see her soft brown eyes with flecks of gold reflected in the sunlight.

“Um, no, I’m heading west.” He didn’t want to say much, he was on the run still and didn’t want to put this woman in any danger. “I’ll have whatever you think is good. I’m not picky.” Gabriel handed her the menu back as she finished up with her note pad. “And coffee, if you have it. Please.”

A few moments later, Rose came bac to Gabriel’s table with a fresh pot of steaming coffee, smiling as she poured him a mug of the hot brew. Gabriel couldn’t help but notice her smile; it wasn’t fake or put on the way most women smiled at him. Claire had once said it was because he glared at most people as if he were already finding their soft bits where he would start to break down a body. 

_“You’re not scared of me, are you? I would hate it if you were scared of me.”_ Gabriel was reminded of the conversation he had with his Claire. The smile she gave him at the moment melted him. Gabriel had always been called a “psychopath” or “madman”. And those were just the things said to his face. But Claire had never seen him that way, spoke up for him, defended him even to her own partners and Gabriel knew he would do anything to protect this woman. 

_“You could never scare me. I love you.”_

But in the end, it didn’t matter. Claire was still dead, and he would never find peace.

Gabriel was brought back to the present as a plate of pancakes, eggs, bacon, hash browns and white toast was put down in front of him. He looked at the plates with confusion.

“Breakfast for dinner. Always makes me happy when I’m upset about something.” She said pouring more coffee into his mug. “It’s obvious you’re not from around here, no one is from around here,” Rose said with a small laugh. “But you look like you’re in your head. And what’s better than a plate of hotcakes and sunny side up eggs to make you smile. I’m beting it’s a nice one.”

“Betting what’s a nice one?”

“You’re smile!”

At her words Gabriel couldn’t help but do just that; the smile coming slowly almost as if he had to remember how to do it. The smile he received in return was honest and genuine, it was like the sun breaking through the clouds after a violent storm.

“There it is, I was right. I’m Rose. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Gabriel.”

“Gabriel. Like the Angel.” Rose’s face softened when she spoke his name and Gabriel felt touched by the change. “Enjoy your meal, Gabriel.” She gave him a slight nod before turning around and heading back to the kitchen after checking on the men in the corner booth. He still didn’t like them, but she seemed to be at ease with the group, so Gabriel let it go.

Since leaving New York, Gabriel had been merely surviving, he didn’t eat much, didn’t really have the appetite for anything, just kept himself feed enough to keep going. The meal Rose had placed in front of him was like Mana from heaven, the eggs were hot, the pancakes sweet and fluffy and the bacon crisp; Gabriel couldn’t remember when he had had better food. 

After cleaning his plate, Rose came over with the coffee and that smile again, filling up not only his mug but part of the soul that had ripped open when Claire died. He waited until the other men left and then paid his bill, giving her a larger tip then he would normally give anyone but he felt the desire to let her know, since he was so bad at words, how grateful he was that she cared about him, even though it was just coffee and a meal. He waved his goodbye to her as she locked up after him. Gabriel had parked behind the diner as to not be seen by anyone while he slept a few hours, hoping to beat the sun the next morning but just as he was settling in, a knock came from the window. Startled he sat up and pointed his gun at the location of the sound.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you so badly.” Rose said holding her hands up in front of her. Gabriel put the gun down just as quickly as he had pulled it out feeling like the fucking hair-trigger psychopath he was always called. He climbed out of the car so quick he almost fell on top of the small woman wrapped in a too light jacket for the nighttime Colorado weather. 

“Fuck, Rose, I am so sorry. Oh God I hope I didn’t scare you; I would hate to have scared you. Fuck!” Gabriel couldn’t believe he might have just ruined the one nice thing he had had in months. 

Rose stepped closer to him and put her hand on his arm. “Hey it’s ok, Gabriel, I’m alright. Not the first time a gun has been pulled on me. I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” She had that smile on her face again, the smile that Gabriel swore was angelic in its own right and how was he worthy of such a sight. He heard what she had said, about this not being the first time a gun had been pulled on her, but he didn’t get a chance to respond, ask who had threated her so he could take care of them and she would be safe again. 

“Fuck, Rose, I’m just so sorry.”

Rose stepped closer to him, her hand resting on his upper arm now while she tried to get his attention, to look at her. What if he had scared her?

Hurt her?

Fuck, what if he had killed her?

“Gabriel, hey, look at me.” She said with a soft but stern voice. “I’m fine. I saw you get into your car and realized you were planning to sleep out here, I wanted to offer you the guest house behind the diner.” Rose pointed behind the diner to a small complex of buildings. “It’s yours if you want it. I’m sure the backseat of your car isn’t the best.” She held out a single key on a keychain. He took the offered key and after grabbing his bags including the one filled with cash, and now his gun, Gabriel walked with her to the building in question.

Once he opened the door and placed his stuff on the bed Gabriel turned around to see Rose leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms.

“I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink. Care to join me?”

Gabriel still didn’t know exactly how he had ended up sitting in Rose’s small apartment living room with a glass or cheap whiskey in his hand, but he wasn’t going to question the company. Rose was curled up on the small flowered loveseat with a tumbler in her hand laughing an hour later, the sound acting like a balm to his frazzled nerves. 

Gabriel listened to everything she told him, every story, joke, fear, dream Rose had, living for just the sound of her voice. In the hour he had been in her space, Gabriel learned that she was sent to the US to live in a catholic school right when the war started in the early 60s, her parents selling everything they had so she could have a better and safer life, seeing the war escalating in Vietnam before anyone else did. 

Rose told him all about being married to a marine, the joy she had felt on her wedding day, the dreams they had had for the diner, and how she wanted to expand into a traveler’s motel after he returned from the war. Gabriel almost lost his mind when her face fell thinking about the letter from the government letting her know he had died a hero and she should be proud. 

“How could I be proud? The only man I ever loved died in a country I was sent away from to keep me safe?” Rose took another long drink from her glass and looked at him over the rim. 

“What about you? You have Vet written all over you.”

Gabriel didn’t talk about his time in Vietnam. He didn’t want to burden people with the trauma of the war, most wanted to know how many Commies he killed or how horrific it was and why we should never have been there in the first place. They never asked how he felt about it, or even _what_ he felt about it. 

“I was there. Did two tours but I don’t really talk about it much.” Rose made to apologize for bringing it up, but he stopped her before she could. “No, honest it’s fine. Umm, I don’t talk about it much because, to be honest, I don’t really know how. It wasn’t much different from the work I did back home.” Rose frowned a bit, but Gabriel didn’t stop. This felt good. “I am, I _was_ a hit man and cleaner for the Irish mob in Hell’s Kitchen. I didn’t like what I did, but I was very good at it.”

To her credit, Rose didn’t move, and Gabriel couldn’t look at her. This was it, this what he was worried about the moment he saw her smile the first time; he would do something, say something that would take that smile away.

“Was?” Her soft voice had Gabriel searching her face, looking for any condemnation, distain or worse, fear from her. There was none.

“A couple of years ago, the people I work for had, well, let’s call it a change of leadership, and when the old guard came back from prison, the two went to war. It didn’t take long to clean out the problems but the woman I loved, the woman who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the woman who I wanted to have my children, was killed in a miscalculation of loyalty.”

Rose was still as he spoke. Gabriel could tell if this was not out of fear or shock, but out of compassion. Did she know this was the first time he had really spoken about what happened? It had been almost a year since he had left the Kitchen and, in that time, Gabriel hadn’t spoken more than a hundred words to anyone. 

But Rose seemed different. Rose _WAS_ different. 

“What was her name?” Gabriel looked at her face and couldn’t believe what he saw, hurt for him, compassion for his story of pain and loss. Was this because she had lost someone in such a tragic way as well?

“Claire. Her name was Claire.” Tears filled her eyes as she reached over and gently touched Gabriel’s leg. 

They sat there for a moment, Rose’s hand on his thigh, and each not being able to stop looking into each other’s eyes, until Gabriel moved closer towards her beautiful face. Maybe it was the whiskey, or perhaps the raw conversation, whatever it was, Gabriel was not able to deny the desire to kiss Rose’s beautiful full lips when they were so close. 

Her lips were soft as a pillow and tasted like the amber liquid they had been drinking. But when Rose started kissing him back, Gabriel pulled away, looking at her. 

“You don’t have to leave… Gabriel, please, don’t… don’t leave.” It was a prayer, words said in a pleading whisper that Gabriel was helpless to resist. 

He wasn’t allowed this, Gabriel thought as he took her lips harder and with more passion he thought he had in him. Why was he allowed to kiss this beautiful woman, a woman who was kissing him with equal fervor, when he had already let down one woman. Would he do it again? How could he protect his woman from the horrors of his world? He pulled away from her with painful regret showing on his face.

“I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you, I let Claire down, I can’t let you down too.” It was said on a strangled sob. Rose gripped his face in her hands and held his gaze, the dark brown and golden eyes boring deep into his soul, stitching a hole the loss of Claire had left.

“You deserve to be happy Gabriel. I know John wants me happy, he tells me in my dreams. He wants me to find someone new to love. I know Claire would be the same. She would want you to be happy. Be happy Gabriel. Be happy with me.” Her lower lip was trembling. 

It didn’t make sense, they had met just hours ago, how could this woman be asking him to be happy with her? How could he be thinking he already was just being in her arms? But that was the truth of it; Gabriel was happy with Rose, he had found happiness the moment she had smiled at him, when she put food down in front of him telling him it was her favorite thing to eat when she was upset. He was happy when she wasn’t scared he had pulled a gun on her and when she asked him to have a drink somehow Gabriel knew he was never leaving her space. Was this John and Claire pushing them together? Was this how God worked?

“Fuck, Rose, I am happy with you. I don’t understand it, but I am happy with you.” He leaned in and kissed her again, deep, long and with meaning behind it. “I am happy, Rose. So, fucking happy.”

**Three Years Later**

Gabriel walked into the diner after a long day of cooking the books at the motel and sat in his booth in the corner. Since the Irish Rose Motel opened six months ago, they had been at full capacity almost every night; the location off the I-80 and I-76 heading west a big draw to truckers and interstate travelers. The sun was setting, and he knew his day was about to get 100% better in a matter of moments. 

“Papa!” the door to the kitchen swung open and out came the reason for every happiness Gabriel would have for the rest of his life. In the three years since happening past this diner and meeting Rose, they had gotten married and opened the motel using the cash he had saved. But the best thing that could have ever happened to Gabriel was what was walking towards him; Rose, now 4 months pregnant with their second child walked into the dining room carrying their 18month old daughter, Paige Claire O’Malley. The day this child had been born Gabriel had sworn to everything that he could he would protect her and her mother from the horrors of the world, and in this small slip of a town, that wasn’t hard to do. 

Rose placed the toddler in the booth next to her father and went to the other side after giving him a soft and settled kiss. This was his favorite moment of his day, being able to sit with his family in safety and happiness feeling the warmth of the setting sun at his back. In his life, Gabriel hadn’t been allowed happiness, it was always something he had stolen, moments taken always knowing he would have to give them back at some point. When he lost Claire, he never wanted to even attempt to be happy again, the pain of losing it was just too much for him. But every time he looked into Rose’s eyes, he is reminded that he does deserve happiness.

Gabriel knows better than anyone that happiness is fleeting, that at any time the things you love can be taken away but being with Rose had taught him was that you can’t allow yourself to live in fear of it being taken away. That’s not living a life, that’s just existing. He knows anything can happen at any moment, but when he is surrounded by his growing family, Gabriel is reminded that he is living now not just for them, but for himself. 

Losing Claire broke Gabriel. But if anything could come out of losing her, it was finding out that he didn’t die at the same time. Rose had thrown him a lifeline at a time when he was happy to drown. As he looked across the table at the woman carrying his child, Gabriel couldn’t help but smile, something that always had her smiling back at him.

“I love you” Rose said, holding out her hand to him.

Gabriel smiled bigger and took the outstretched hand. “I love you more.”


End file.
